Friends of your regular correspondent have been trying to break it to me gently. Spider Man 3 is “the weaker of the three films,” they tell me. It’s “not great.”Up to a point, Lord Copper. Spider Man 3 is “not great” in the same way that living next door to a pig-slurry pit during a heat wave is “not great.” Spider Man 3 bites, and bites big time.
It is unlikely that Spider Man 3 is the worst movie that will be unleashed on an unsuspecting public this summer – anybody else suspect that Fantastic Four teaser trailer is the best bit of the whole movie by a country mile? Me too. Sigh – but what’s especially distressing about the movie is that its worth in artistic terms is in inverse proportion to its worth in monetary terms. In its opening weekend alone, Spider Man 3 grossed $150 million in the US and over $350 million overseas. That’s just fundamentally wrong.
Tell all your friends – if you must go to the movies, give Spider Man a skip. That’s not your Spidey sense tingling – it’s your retch reflex. It’s over-written, over-long and not over half soon enough. I have seldom seen people scurry for the exits more quickly once the credits began to roll, and who could blame them, after suffering the horrors of that terrible, terrible – I mean awful now – ending. How very, very disappointing.
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