Questions & Answerzzzzzzz

The last ever episode of Questions and Answers was broadcast last night on RTÉ 1 at ten-thirty or so. An Spailpín Fánach didn’t see it; I was tucked up in the cot, as befits those who must rise with the lark. But I doubt if I missed very much.

The tributes that have been paid to Questions and Answers are an unusual instance of people getting nostalgic after something before it’s actually gone. It’s a strange post-hoc imagining of a reality that never was. Because Questions and Answers was never essential viewing. It was anything but, and the problem with that lies with the presenter.

Questions and Answers was never about searing debate on the great issues in Irish public life. Insofar as that existed anywhere, it was on the Late Late Show. Questions and Answers was all about pieties and platitudes, trotted out, nodded at, entered into the record and consigned to history with a big shrug of so what.

Questions and Answers was on the air for over twenty years – can you think of five incendiary episodes? A strike rate of one good show every four seasons isn’t exactly riveting. A typical panel would consist of Mary Hanafin, Phil Hogan, Senator Joe O’Toole, Kathy Sheridan and Brigid Laffan. Be still, my heart!

Part of the fault for this lies with John Bowman. Bowman has many fine qualities as a broadcaster – he is a marvellous psephologist during elections, his archival programs early on Sunday morning on Radio 1 are always fascinating – but as a chairman of a panel debate he was extremely limited. In his insistence in going through a checklist debate never existed and the show became a procession of platitudes and empty rhetoric.

Bowman was also noticeably touchy about a discussion veering into territory that he himself did not favour, and would quickly pull the discussion back to where he felt it belonged. A chairman has to do this sometimes in order to maintain order, but too heavy a hand stifles rather than stimulates discussion.

The most interesting episodes of Questions and Answers happened when Bowman was replaced in the chair by Vincent Browne some years ago. Browne is another flawed broadcaster in many ways but as an agent provocateur he is without equal. Browne had the ringcraft that Bowman lacked to always have a discussion on the edge of boiling over. When Bowman sensed a row he reigned back; Browne drove the horses to the ledge.

Questions and Answers played its part in Irish political history when Brian Lenihan was ambushed on the program during the 1990 Presidential campaign, but that does not make it an institution in Irish political broadcasting. Seán Doherty’s interview with Shay Healy on Nighthawks was also a landmark, but I don’t think any of our universities will be setting up Schools of Tania Studies as a result.

Questions and Answers was significant because it was there in the first place, as opposed to what it was. And that is what damns it. Because relevant current affairs journalism should be about more than tokenism and going through the motions.





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Gaeilge á Labhairt ag an Leon

Agus an Spailpín Fánach ina stócach agus gan mórán le déanamh aige, léinn cuid maith dírbheathaisnéisí imreoirí rugbaí na Breataine Bige. Bhí roinnt maith acu i leabharlann Bhéil an Átha i rith m'óige agus léigh mé gach uile ceann acu - Barry John, Mervyn Davies, Gareth Edwards, Gerald Davies. Thit mé ar leabhar JPR Williams i síopaleabhair cáiliúil ar an dTrá Fhada, California, Meiriceá, bliain nó dó ó shin agus tá sé ar an seilf agam anois.

Rud amháin a chur isteach orm maidir le ré glórmhar rugbaí na Breataine Bige ins na seachtóidí ná chomh tírghrách agus a bhídís. Scríobhadar chomh minic faoin rud seo hwyl, saghas paiseanta catha atá ag an gcíne na Breataine Bige, agus acusan amháin.

Chomh maith le sin, scríobh siad go labhraídís sa mBreatnais ag an sínte amach chun dallamullóg a chur ar an sean-namhad. Bhí a dteanga féin an-tábhachtach le cúpla duine acu - Ray Gravell, go dtuga Dia trócaire air, mar shampla - agus ba chúis mór bhróid acu go raibh a dteanga féin acu.

Tháinig sé sin ar áis im'intinn inne nuair a léigh mé go raibh Lúc Mac Gearailt chun tosú ar an gcliathán leis na Leoin i gcoinne na Afraice Theas amárach. Mar is Gaeilgeoir é an Gearaltach, atá go minic ag labhairt le Seán Bán ar Raidió na Gaeltachta nó ar TG4, agus ba chóir dúinn bheith bródúil as.

Is ait an rud é Gaeilge a chloisteáil i gcanúint láidir Bleá Cliath 4, ach is cuma go deo. Níl fios ag duine cad í fíor-chanúint na Gaeilge ar aon scéal. Léigh mé agallamh leis an nGearaltach roimh an dturas agus dúirt sé go raibh an Ghaeilge agus an tír ana-mhór do agus dá athair, Des, a chaitheadh geansaí glas na hÉireann ina aimsir féin. Táid beirt ag déanamh an iarracht, agus sin é an rud is tábhachtaí.

Beidh brú mór ar na Leoin amárach, thús i sléibhte ceartlár na hAfraice Theas. Bhí an t-ádh dearg acu nár rinneadh scrios orthu sa gcéad cluiche agus, mura dtiocfadh fir ionadaí na hAfraice Theas isteach tar éis an chéad uair, seans go gcuirfí faoin bhfód iad chomh dona nach bhfeicfidís solas na gréine arís ar an dturas. Ach ní chuireadh, agus táid beo fós.

Is dócha go mbeidh an lá ag Die Bokke agus má bheidh, ní nach ionadh é mar is foireann go sár-mhaith iad, go h-áirithe suas 'sna tosaithe agus sár-imreoirí acu dá chuid du Plessis, Botha, Matfield agus Burger. Ach beidh seachtar nGael ag caitheamh na geansaí dearga cáiliúla ar an Sathairn, agus fios ag ceann acu nár chóir bacaigh le mac an bhacaigh. Go n-éirí leis agus leo. Nócha a naoi, a bhuachaillí, nócha a naoi!





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An Chathair Fholamh

Bhí sár scannán sa bpictiúrlanna cúpla bliain ó shin darbh ainm 28 Days Later. Baineann an scannán le fear a dhúisíonn i leaba ospidéil agus an domhan athraithe go deo i ngan fios dó. Tá radhairc chumhachta ag tús an scannán ina théann mo dhuine isteach go gcathair Londain, agus gach duine imithe as.

Níl an scéal chomh dona i mBaile Átha Cliath fós ach a Thiarna Dé, is dall an súil nach dtabharfadh faoi deara nach bhfuil an méid tráchtála sa gcathair mar a bhíodh. Nach bhfuil ar chur ar bith.

Éistim le Morning Ireland gach maidin, agus de gnáth anois tosaíonn duine an AA le "bheul, iontach go léir, níl mórán gluaisteáin ar na bóthair fós ar maidin." Tar éis cúpla mí, ní iontach an scéal é níos mó. Is gnáthscéal é anois.

D'inis cara an Spailpín le déanaí go raibh air dul sa ngluaisteán ó Maigh Nuad go dTor an Bhacaigh maidin amháin, agus rinne sé an bealach faoi uair a chlog. Bliain nó dó ó shin, ní bhuailfeá Leamhcán amach ó Maigh Nuad i dturas uaire, fiú amháin áit taobh eile na cathrach.

Ach malairt an scéil atá againne anois. Bíonn na bóthair ciúine go leor sa tsamhraidh agus na páistí sa mbaile ón scoil, ach anois is mar príomhbhrod an Maire Celeste an chathair anois, i gcomparáid le mar a bhíodh. Scríobh David McWilliams i bpríomhleabhair an ré Tíogair, The Pope's Children, go raibh bóthair na cathrach lán le leoraithe á thiomáint ag Breakfast Roll Man ag bualadh a bhealach amach ó Bhudland go dtí an suíomh tógála. Tá an fear céanna sa leaba anois gach maidin, agus fanann sé ann chomh fada mar ab fhéidir. Fad atá sa leaba ní chaitear airgead, agus níl an airgead chomh flúirseach mar a bhíodh.

Feictear an easpa daoine i siopaí an Tíogair freisin, ach go h-áirithe i siopaí na h-ionadaí siopadóireachta. Is breá leis an mBleá Cliathach a éadaí fóillíochta, agus tá na h-ionadaí siopadóireachta lán le siopaí dá chuid seo. Bhí an Spailpín amach i gceann amháin acu le déanaí, in Ionad Siopadóireachta Bhaile Bhlainséir. Níl an siopa chomh láidir le Ardeaglais Chartes, ach níl sé beag ach an oiread.

Ach an oíche seo, bhí láidreacht an siopa curtha i gcodarsnacht le chomh folamh agus a bhí an siopa. Bhí na cultacha reatha bándearg crochta go néata ar a gcrochadáin, ach gan cailín dá laghad chun dul isteach agus a smaoineamh go rabhadar "deadly." Bhí beirt cailíní siopa ag fanacht ar an scipéad airgid, ag breathnú ar a n-ingne agus ag smaoineamh cá raibh na siopadóirí, agus cathain a bhfillidís ar ais. Táid ag fanacht fós, is dócha, go bhfóire Dia orthu.





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Rosserini Fight the Good Fight

Roscommon is a fine county, and it’s always a highlight of the summer when Mayo play the sheepstealers.

Roscommon and Offaly - midlanders both - are two of An Spailpín Fánach’s favourite GAA counties. They lack the population of Dublin, Cork, Galway or Mayo but what pride and heart they bring to the occasion. You may win against them but you will never defeat them. For them, the road goes ever on.

Mayo supporters are spoiled with success. Certainly the summers of 1996, 1997, 2004 and 2006 did not end as the Mayo support would have hoped, but until the throw in on those fateful September Sundays, didn’t we have days? Didn’t we? Rich memories to call back in emptier times – the first Mayo supporters to walk up the hill as winners in Tuam since 1951. Defeating Kerry in 1996. Beating Galway after conceding 1-3 in the first ten minutes. Beating Tyrone. Beating Dublin.

Roscommon have existed on the other side of the football world in the past twenty years, as the magical era of Earley, O'Connor, Keegan and Lindsay fades to sepia. Living on scraps. Suffering a cruel and hideous fate in the first year of the qualifier system. Going through managers the way the HSE goes through money – that is to say, like a devouring flame, leaving a scorched and barren earth behind them.

That may change on Sunday. It may not. Hard to say without seeing a team, of course. But from what we can read from the runes of the year so far, many things will have to go wrong for Mayo and right for Roscommon for the Ross to claim their first win in McHale Park since – can it be? – 1986.

Mayo’s boy-king Aidan O’Shea is the cornerstone. He will almost certainly start at full-forward and if he goes well in there the Rossies might be heading for the gates by half-time. If, however, John Nolan or David Casey can keep him under control, then it gets interesting.

If Barry Moran starts beside O’Shea he can give the Rossies more of the same and something, surely, has to give. If it’s Andy Moran, however, shutting down Aidan O’Shea and stopping Conor from hitting the deck for those soft frees may reduce the Mayo scoring rate entirely. Dillon will cut away from distance and Pat Harte always threatens a goal-rampage, but Mayo are reliant on the Shea-on-the-square strategy for 2009. If it’s not happening for O’Shea, Mayo will have cause for concern.

But even then it’s still an uphill task for Roscommon. Michael Finneran in midfield is a Rossie of the old school but Mayo have a choice from McGarrity, Parsons and Harte to take him on and the Roscommon midfield may be living on scraps. The forwards have to maximise those scraps then against a Mayo rearguard that are certainly improved from last year, and the Rosserini have to do it without Cathal Cregg and for whom Senan Kilbride may not be functioning at one hundred per cent either.

Ladbrokes have made Mayo five point favourites for the game on Saturday, with Roscommon 4/1 longshots for the upset on the outright. Antrim were 9/2 last week against Donegal, and John O’Mahony will be able to use that to cut out any complacency from creeping in. It looks like another bleak day at the office for the constant hearts but, in the light of all they have suffered and their inviolate pride and immense appetite for the fray, it will be hard begrudge Roscommon should they have a famous night in Castlebar.





Technorati Tags: Ireland, sport, culture, GAA, football, Mayo, Roscommon, Championship 09

Kerry Haven't Gone Away, You Know

“That’s not Darragh Sé,” remarked An Spailpín Fánach to his houseguests when Kerry made their first substitution in the drawn game against Cork last Sunday week. “That’s the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man.”

The fact that Kerry would allow their talismanic midfielder, the man who has epitomised football in the Kingdom since he helped end the famine in 1997, to winter not wisely but too well is eloquent testimony to just how bothered they really are about the Munster Championship, and just how much the qualifier system has destroyed the Championship as we knew it.

We speak of the qualifier system like it was only introduced last year. This is the eighth year of the system. That’s the guts of two football generations. The backdoor is the tradition now.

And nobody adapts like Kerry. That’s one of the many reasons that they’ve won thirty-five All-Irelands and aren’t sated yet. Kerry whined about Down not playing catch-and-kick against them in the ‘sixties, but were quite happy themselves to win eight All-Irelands in the ‘seventies and ‘eighties playing what often looked like Olympic handball. They whined about puke football in 2003 but have since learned how to duke it out with the best of them, thanks very much.

But the chief penny that’s dropped for Kerry is that the Championship doesn’t now start until August, because it’s not until then that you face live ammunition. Until then, it’s just another challenge game really.

Cork and Kerry played a marvellous game by the banks of the Lee on Saturday but wasn’t it hard not to get the nagging feeling that maybe Kerry weren’t really bursting themselves? Sure they would have liked to win, the same way teams like to win the League, but it’s not life or death, which is the way Kerry play after the pilgrims have descended from the Reek. When it counts.

Peter Canavan said it on the TV. Cork looked magnificent, but we’ve seen this from Cork before. Often and all as they’ve beaten Kerry in Munster, any time Cork and Kerry have met when it counts Cork have taken the pipe.

A pained expression flitted across Anthony Lynch’s face when the TV3 man asked him what this win was worth after the game. Lynch came up with some platitude but he must know as well as anybody that this win isn’t worth two balls of roasted snow because Kerry haven’t gone anywhere.

All this talk about shark infested waters in the qualifiers is a lot of old blather. There will be one great big shark if a surprise happens in Ulster this weekend, and An Spailpín reckons that Jack O’Connor will be much more disappointed than Mickey Harte should Tyrone get up-ended. Kerry would much rather face Tyrone once their training has peaked in August and beyond. But Harte may have chosen the direct route this year – who can ever tell with that most inscrutable of men?

For what it’s worth, An Spailpín thinks a death knell may sound for the qualifiers when the boys in Croke Park sit down to do their sums in October. Qualifier attendance has declined over the years as the novelty wore off and people realised that there’s seldom a point in postponing the inevitable. Now the recession is here, and Kildare v Wexford in the Leinster Championship managed only eight thousand souls in Doctor Cullen Park on a beautiful summer Saturday evening, the qualifiers may be on borrowed time.

And small loss after them if they are. As previously argued in this space, the old winner-take-it-all Championship had its great beauties that have been ignored in the rush to cash in with the extra games. The weaker counties’ chances of winning All-Irelands have not increased in the Qualifier era, but at least under the old system you could stop your neighbour doing it. Seldom has bitter fruit tasted so sweet.

And how sweet would the Murphy’s be Leeside over the weekend if they knew that whoever will win Sam this year, Kerry won’t? Instead they know that Mars bars are banned from now on within a five mile radius of Darragh Ó Sé, and the big man will be spending merry summer evenings running up mountains, working off that beef and dreaming of seeing red once more.





Technorati Tags: Ireland, sport, culture, GAA, football, Cork, Kerry, Championship 09

Shell Signing Cheques

An Spailpín Fánach ruefully notes that Royal Dutch Shell have paid US$15.5 million to the relatives of men executed by the Nigerian government for protesting about the way Shell did business in Nigeria. Shell have admitted no liability, but if this is so, why write a cheque? Very few commercial concerns part with loot to be sound.

No matter. Dead men don't come back, and money is small consolation. The only thing that An Spailpín is wondering is if Shell have learned their lesson. If there's an accident, God forbid, anywhere else, anywhere at all, is there now a budgetary provision made for steps-of-the-court sweeteners? Just in case, like.





Technorati Tags: politics, Mayo, Rossport, Shell

Election '09: It's Not Easy Being Green

God never closes one door but he opens another. The country is going to hell in a handcart, there’s no-where left to emigrate to because the whole world is going to hell in the same handcart and the future looks grim any which way you look at it, but an Irish election remains the nation’s finest bloodsport since we stopped coursing the hare.

For the past two days the amateur psephologists of Erin have been in Heaven with the studio debates. Noel Whelan provided what must be the quote of the election so far when he said on Radio 1 on Saturday that tallying was virtually impossible due to the size of the Euro constituencies, particularly Ireland North-West. Whelan made the point that when a ballot box is opened a big bunch of votes for a particular candidate may not count for much in the bigger picture. “What looks like the bald head of Declan Ganley may turn out to be Marian Harkin’s cheek,” said Noel.

LMAO, as the young people say.

The analysis of the election is fun. One of the Sunday papers this morning opined on its front page that “Fine Gael’s sweeping victory in the local and European elections this weekend makes a general election before the end of the year almost inevitable.” An Spailpín Fánach advises against punters betting the farm on that one.

The Dáil is either in summer recess or on the verge of it, and none of our hard-working public representatives will be giving up their holliers. Then, when the Dáil returns, it’s all hands to the mast for Lisbon 2. That’s no time to go boat-rocking, because it’s safe to say that the EU is the only hope of getting any shillings into the exchequer at all for the foreseeable, and if there’s one thing that won’t impress Jerry it’s Paddy giving him a shoe in das Hinterteil while begging for money at the same time.

The opposition will find themselves on the horns of something of a dilemma post the referendum, presuming that it’s passed. If it’s not passed, not only should the Government resign but the opposition would be off their collective nuts to even attempt to govern the country. The only hope for the nation in that nightmare scenario would be to build currachs on a mass scale, and for us all to start rowing to Cuba, as this place will be all shot to hell. Great healthcare in Cuba, you know. Not like here.

And then if the referendum is passed, well, things don’t seem so bad and it’s only two months ‘til Christmas. The Budget would be tricky but, you know, when you’re in a war zone and the bullets haven’t killed you for eighteen months, you start to think maybe you’ll get home alive after all.

The trick is for Fianna Fáil, who have been abused before and are used to it, is to get the Greens to hold their nerve. The Greens are not used to this, and are discovering the price of power the hard way. Níall Ó Brolcháin hopped a ball on Prime Time tonight but all six Green TDs know that if there is an election in the next few weeks none of them are getting back, and this is not a great time to be looking for work in Ireland.

The Greens, like Fianna Fáil, can only take the advice of the old song and look out for better weather. By complete contrast, if the election were tomorrow at five o’clock that would suit Fine Gael and Labour just fine. Because the more time goes by the more likely those boys are likely to get jittery. Especially Fine Gael.

There was a poll in one of the papers where Enda Kenny topped Brian Cowen as the popular choice for Taoiseach, but it will be the slow backroom boy indeed who didn’t notice that 37% chose neither of the above. If “neither of the above” is another way of spelling “Richard Bruton,” then the Fine Gael party have to ask the question if this is indeed a dagger they see before them.

The advantage of someone Fine Gael bigwig like Phil Hogan visiting Islandeady with a shotgun and a shovel is that Richard Bruton may be the missing link that will finally take Fine Gael over the edge. The disadvantage is that they know that, whatever his other faults – Dubliners being mistrustful of culchies his chief problem, it seems. How charming of them – Enda is a marvellous man on the stump, and Richard Bruton may not be as good. Also, while Bertie Ahern beat Kenny in the leaders’ debate in 2007, Kenny suffered no mortal blows. Bruton has not been tested to the same degree. If Fine Gael zap Enda and go with Bruton, and Bruton then blows up – well, that won’t be good.

Coursing was never as good as this. Next week’s fun will feature someone like Paul Gogarty doing an Ó Brolcháin on the plinth outside the Dáil while Brian Cowen uses his singing skills to serenade John Gormley into keeping his nerve. An Spailpín believes a duet of the Kate Bush/Peter Gabriel classic Don’t Give Up would be just the ticket here.

An Spailpín will also be taking this sea change in Irish politics stuff with a pinch of salt. We get a sea change in Irish politics every ten years or so – the seventies being socialist, constitutional crusades and Spring tides come to mind – and then the pendulum pretty much swings back to where it was before. It’s been a source of interest to An Spailpín that Irish political studies are so distant from the actual on the ground reality of Irish political culture, but maybe that’s a story for another day. Right now, An Spailpín would need to see considerably more evidence before he starts buying into any fundamental changes in the nature of the Irish electorate.

FOCAL SCOIR: An Spailpín is of an age now where some of his friends are now elected councillors and doing their bit, in their different ways, for democracy. But An Spailpín would like to take a moment to congratulate Miss Emma Kiernan, unknown to me, who was elected for Fine Gael onto Kildare County Council. Miss Kiernan suffered some ungallant press coverage during the election, but she came through in the end. Good for her.





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