Friday, July 31, 2009

RTE Doing the Pure Dog on It

An Spailpín Fánach has noticed a certain repetition in the national broadcaster’s news focus. He is not looking forward to the new RTÉ schedule.

6:01 – 7:00 Six-One News
Followed by sport, weather and paedophile line.

7:00 – 7:30 Devil and the Deep Blue Sea
Reality TV show where victims of child abuse in state run schools have to spend a day with George Hook or Gerry Ryan and are asked at the end if maybe Letterfrack was all that bad, really.

7:00 - 7:30 Nationwide
Victims of child abuse in state run schools suffer further trying to figure out. When. Michael Ryan. Will finally. End. A sentence. Instead. Of. Wittering on. And on. And on. And on.

7:30 – 8:00 Breaking Ball
Jacqui Hurley investigates the affect of child abuse in state run schools on the Seathrún Uí Mhurchiú Cup, and always pronounces “t” as “d.” You’d bedder believe id!

8:00 – 8:30 Trish’s Paris Cafeteria
Trish Deseine cooks fabulous and mouth-watering dishes for les enfants des écoles d’état who have been victims of abuse.

8:30 – 9:00 No Frontiers
Kathryn Thomas goes to the end of the bloody world because if she hears one more thing about victims of child abuse in state run schools she is going to scream.

9:00 – 9:30 Nine O’Clock News
US Correspondent Charlie Bird reports from Cedar Rapids, Iowa, about how former victims of child abuse in state run schools are rebuilding their lives in Hawkeye State. They flash back something rotten when they hear old Charlo lowing in their ears.

9:30 – 11:00 I Dreamed a Dream
Colm O’Gorman presents a gala variety show live from the Olympia Theatre, Dublin, featuring victims of child abuse in state run schools singing their favourite songs from the musicals!

11:00 – 12:00 CSI: Ireland

Grissom and the gang wish to Christ they were back in Las Vegas with the regular perverts.





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